Women – to whom they belong???

This is a cold winter evening and depressing fog is every where. Though, a lot of said and written about women’s emancipation. I don’t want to get in to that plethora of laws and books. This is an article inspired from most of the women’s life in India.

On one hand there are successful women CEOs like Indra Nooyi, Neeta Ambani, etc. their success stories are published in all papers and magazines. “Sonia Gandhi – among the list of most powerful people in the world.” We come across many such tag lines. But who cares for millions of girls/women who are not having luck as blessing as for someone else like Gauri Khan or Twinkle Khanna?

Tragedy of using a new name:

This is the time when my mind boggled about what is happening in lives of women after marriage. The first attack on your identity is done by changing your name. And when you tell some one your pre marriage name, an old witch in your in laws will say, “oh you forgot your name?” on the other hand this lady might be using her pre marrigae  name every where. Husbands will also complain “see my bhabhi, she uses our family name”. The male ego is so shallow that it gets insecurity even if the girl is using her original name given by her parents. And of course the husband is “husband” why would he change his name?

Dowry Tradition:

The next evil is Dowry Tradition. No matters if your father in law is an IAS officer, your high headed mother in law will surely expect some “gifts” from girl’s side. The bride's family gives the groom's family money and/or gifts. The model used to calculate the dowry takes the bridegroom's education and future earning potential into account while the bride's education and earning potential are only relevant to her societal role of being a better wife and mother.

Men are considered capable of earning money and caring of the family line. They are concerned about providing for their aging parents so they bring a wife (and with this a capable domestic helper) into the family. For massage, for combing, for cleaning even urine and stool when required. This is the use of getting married.

Women are regarded more of a liability for a family:

By bad luck if the bride has some health issues your mother in law will crib “oh god so much spent on medicines, so much of tests” , etc. amid this your husband will give you complex by hiding your hospitalization from his mother. So that mother is not worried about money spent on unofficial maid. The prejudice against female children is shown in “May you be blessed with a hundred sons” which is a common Hindu wedding blessing.

Food serving by mother in law:

The mom in law will eagerly make some thing like kheer for your husband as it is his favourite. You are standing next to your husband and mom in law will bring the thing and serve her son. The daughter in law will not be offered.

Under the existing cultural and social ethos of India a married girl / woman is no longer considered to be part of the family of her birth, instead she has become part of the family of the groom. Hence, after marriage the woman leaves her parental home and lives with her husband's family, where she is required to assume all household labour and domestic responsibilities.

In such situations, daily events, one can guess how a woman can be liberated? There is no way till the time in laws give equal treatment to their daughters in laws and their own daughters. Will this ever happen? Keeping the fingers crossed. Parents of the girls tell “one day you will go to your own home after marriage”. After marriage she is considered an out sider who is kept away from family decisions, as they say this is not your house.... so the question is – women – to whom they belong?