This is a cold winter evening and depressing fog is every
where. Though, a lot of said and written about women’s emancipation. I don’t want
to get in to that plethora of laws and books. This is an article inspired from
most of the women’s life in India.
On one hand there are successful women CEOs like Indra
Nooyi, Neeta Ambani, etc. their success stories are published in all papers and
magazines. “Sonia Gandhi – among the list of most powerful people in the world.”
We come across many such tag lines. But who cares for millions of girls/women
who are not having luck as blessing as for someone else like Gauri Khan or
Twinkle Khanna?
Tragedy
of using a new name:
This is the time when my mind boggled about what is
happening in lives of women after marriage. The first attack on your identity
is done by changing your name. And when you tell some one your pre marriage
name, an old witch in your in laws will say, “oh you forgot your name?” on the
other hand this lady might be using her pre marrigae name every where. Husbands will also complain “see
my bhabhi, she uses our family name”. The male ego is so shallow that it gets
insecurity even if the girl is using her original name given by her parents. And
of course the husband is “husband” why would he change his name?
Dowry
Tradition:
The next evil is Dowry Tradition. No matters if your
father in law is an IAS officer, your high headed mother in law will surely expect
some “gifts” from girl’s side. The bride's family gives the
groom's family money and/or gifts. The model used to calculate the dowry takes
the bridegroom's education and future earning potential into account while the
bride's education and earning potential are only relevant to her societal role
of being a better wife and mother.
Men are considered capable of earning money and caring
of the family line. They are concerned about providing for their aging parents
so they bring a wife (and with this a capable domestic helper) into the family.
For massage, for combing, for cleaning even urine and stool when required. This
is the use of getting married.
Women
are regarded more of a liability for a family:
By bad luck if the bride has some health issues your
mother in law will crib “oh god so much spent on medicines, so much of tests” ,
etc. amid this your husband will give you complex by hiding your
hospitalization from his mother. So that mother is not worried about money
spent on unofficial maid. The prejudice against female children is shown in “May
you be blessed with a hundred sons” which is a common Hindu wedding blessing.
Food
serving by mother in law:
The mom in law will eagerly make some thing like kheer for your husband as it is his favourite.
You are standing next to your husband and mom in law will bring the thing and
serve her son. The daughter in law will not be offered.
Under the existing cultural and social ethos of
India a married girl / woman is no longer considered to be part of the family
of her birth, instead she has become part of the family of the groom. Hence,
after marriage the woman leaves her parental home and lives with her husband's
family, where she is required to assume all household labour and domestic
responsibilities.
In such situations, daily events, one can guess how
a woman can be liberated? There is no way till the time in laws give equal
treatment to their daughters in laws and their own daughters. Will this ever
happen? Keeping the fingers crossed. Parents of the girls tell “one day you
will go to your own home after marriage”. After marriage she is considered an
out sider who is kept away from family decisions, as they say this is not your
house.... so the question is – women – to whom they belong?
